Two Thanksgiving meals this week equals one happy momma and baby!
A growing belly
These were taken one week ago when I hit the 24 week mark. 25 weeks today! This week you're gaining more adorable baby fat and are about the size of a rutabaga (didn't know what that even was until I looked it up). :)
Better days ahead
I officially started training for my new job today! I normally work overnights so getting up early in the morning and coming back home in the middle of the day was rather odd for me. It actually made me feel more normal than anything. There is no use getting used to it though because I'll be right back to working nights (differential is worth it!). Today in CPI class, I'm pretty sure Noah had the hiccups! It was cute and I couldn't help but smile during the boring video we had to watch. You are actually looking like a tiny newborn now. I really think this job is going to make things much better for my family and I. I will have more days off and better pay, it's a great opportunity for us. I will have to be careful because as a Psych Tech, I will obviously be dealing with psych patients, so I will always have to keep my guard up and belly protected. Being a transporter just wasn't cutting it so I am remaining hopeful that the future will be bright!
My little 1 lb mango. ♥ He kept putting his hand over his face/head during the ultrasound but was willing to show off the goods! ;)
My little 1 lb mango. ♥ He kept putting his hand over his face/head during the ultrasound but was willing to show off the goods! ;)
Kicks!
Yesterday (11/1/11) morning we felt you actually moving enough to where your daddy could feel you too! It was bright and early around 6:30 in the morning and I felt you kicking up a storm so I had your dad place his hand on my tummy to feel you too. It was an amazing moment for us and I could tell how happy it made him to feel you for the first time. We love you more and more each day.
Unfortunately this is not a happy baby post. This is a "I just cried my eyes out and have no one to really talk to about it" kind of post. I always had the slight fear that this relationship was too good to be true, that maybe everyone is right and we haven't been together long enough to really know that we are meant for each other. I pushed that feeling away each time, ignored and scoffed at those people. This is the guy for me. This time I was sure of it. I had found the one and that was that.
Well, we almost broke up tonight... and when you're going on 22 weeks pregnant, this is a bigger deal than it normally would be. There would be no way of simply moving on, no way of letting time heal things, I am having this man's baby! This is a huge deal. I can't just start fresh, I'm pregnant with his child and will have to see and deal with him (the father) for at least 18 years (realistically for the rest of my life). When you're faced with the fact that maybe this man isn't the one for you, maybe it won't work, it's truly and utterly crushing. I can't handle the fact that my son will have a broken home much like I had to deal with all my life. I wanted more for him, a complete and loving family. He's not even born yet and we are already having issues. I want to make this work but I'm scared I put myself in a position that I can't get out of like I normally could. I can't just end things. I have a little person involved now. It's just not going to be picture perfect like I had hoped. Now I keep randomly crying and I can feel you moving which makes me cry more. I'm trying not to because I know you can feel my sadness and I never want you to be sad. I always want the best for my Noah. Above myself or anyone else.
Well, we almost broke up tonight... and when you're going on 22 weeks pregnant, this is a bigger deal than it normally would be. There would be no way of simply moving on, no way of letting time heal things, I am having this man's baby! This is a huge deal. I can't just start fresh, I'm pregnant with his child and will have to see and deal with him (the father) for at least 18 years (realistically for the rest of my life). When you're faced with the fact that maybe this man isn't the one for you, maybe it won't work, it's truly and utterly crushing. I can't handle the fact that my son will have a broken home much like I had to deal with all my life. I wanted more for him, a complete and loving family. He's not even born yet and we are already having issues. I want to make this work but I'm scared I put myself in a position that I can't get out of like I normally could. I can't just end things. I have a little person involved now. It's just not going to be picture perfect like I had hoped. Now I keep randomly crying and I can feel you moving which makes me cry more. I'm trying not to because I know you can feel my sadness and I never want you to be sad. I always want the best for my Noah. Above myself or anyone else.
Happy 21st week Birthday!
You are 21 weeks old today, little one. This morning you made it very clear that you are not a fan of me sitting up suddenly, you pretty much knocked me right back down! That's the most I felt you before. I wouldn't count it as a kick but it was definitely something. Still haven't felt much movement from you other than that, you must be a sleepy boy like your daddy! ♥
What baby may be looking like at this point.
What baby may be looking like at this point.
Update
They say black is slimming... on another note, really need to clean that bathroom mirror.
Lately you have been craving grits with lots of cheese and veggie bacon mixed in. Every morning comes and I must have this combination!
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